2.5 years later

Seems to me, that blogging is the avenue i turn to when i feel conflicted about my feelings..
it's been a rather peaceful 2.5 years which is supposed to go on for a long long time, but because "the grass is always greener on the other side", I guess the issue has to come up one time or another...

Horrible thoughts just racing through my head, as I actually contemplated going against what I had been waiting for all my life, for that one moment of drama.

Guilt is an obvious feeling that's taken place in that hollow of my heart.
Along with curiousity and wonder, confusion and depression, with a tinge of regretable reluctance.

Why I'm feeling that prob attributes partly to my unwillingness to change and compromise my current state, and the curious case of "what if" in the case of a new situation.

Whatever is this I'm feeling, I hope it passes soon, like the passing shower on the meadows, comes and go briefly, leaving in its wake a beautiful rainbow, cleaner and greener grass, and a fresh scent in the cool and clear air. Content and unwanting.


PS: Shoutout to Maybeez for the 1st among the Vamps to get hitched (officially & customarily).
CONGRATS!! and am so so happy for you... Not that you'll read this... since i retired from blogging aeons ago... haha...